It’s a process

I’ve been a Christian for nearly 13 years.

I grew up always knowing there was “a God”, but never actually living differently because of that knowledge. Never internalizing it. Never pursuing it.

After our first miscarriage in 2003, I started searching out this God for myself. Long story short, on Christmas Eve 2003, I came to a full saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and gave my life over to him.

It’s a process.

I’ve learned (even more so recently), that the Lord reveals things to each individual little by little over their journey with Him.

An example from early on in my walk: I was a smoker when I got saved. I loved my cigarettes. I was a smoking Christ follower for a little while before I felt convicted that it was not an okay thing to do. Then I wrestled and whined and tried to explain to God that He doesn’t say in His Word that I can’t smoke. Finally in September of 2004 (thanks to lots of support from my husband), I laid down my habit on the altar and haven’t looked back. Now….is smoking a sin? I don’t think so. BUT: smoking is an idol (dictating where and when you go places; burning through your money; comforting you when you are stressed, sad, mad, etc) and idols ARE a sin.

Did I have to quit smoking to BECOME a Christian? No. Did I have to quit as soon as I became a Christian? No. Did God punish me for not immediately giving it up when He convicted me of it? No, He gave me the space to work through it like a gentle parent who knows what is right.

I very firmly believe that as long as we are walking next to Him and having open communication with Him (prayer and reading the Word), He will continue to make changes like these in our life. Molding us to His will. Little by little.

Now, that is just a small, silly (in comparison) example. These days I am wrestling with bigger things. Things that YHWH has really laid upon my heart that call on me to make changes once He opens my eyes to them.

The Sabbath.

The Law (torah).



How to really love Him.

How to really love others.

Deeper issues that He wants to show me to make me more like His Son. Which is really ironic, because my “word for the year” (I pick one every year), was DEEPER. I didn’t searching out some radically different teachings. I just searched His Word with the prompting and guiding of the Spirit living in me.

This blog is going to chronicle that journey.

It’s a process.


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